the thought of being stuck in a tiny box reaching for the unknown

I feel so lost right now. I don't know what I am doing with my life and just feel stuck. I'm stuck with the thought that I am going to choose the wrong path and I am just draining myself to later throw everything in the trash. I thought I knew what my life would be like, but I don't. I have no idea. I change my mind so fast after being interested in something that I would enjoy and be so beneficial in my life, just because I don't think I'll be able to handle it. I am so young but feel like I am expected to have my life figured out. My mind has been racing at a hundred miles an hour trying to figure out what I am doing with my life. Am I doing this all wrong? Should I be traveling instead of going to a university? I am so confused. I always tell myself I have so much time in my life to try new things and figure out what I want to do, but I don't have as much time as I thought I did. Not everyone lives to be a hundred and not everyone can do what I can do. I am so fortunate to have what I have. I have to learn to understand that and tell myself that I am very lucky to be able to do what I want to do. Life is just so incredibly stressful that sometimes it's easy to forget how many opportunities there are out there. I just feel stuck in a little tiny box with windows outside that I just can't reach yet. It takes time to know where you want to end up. I think that asking people who are graduating high school what they are going to do with their lives is so stupid. How is an 18-year-old supposed to have the next 72 years of their life figured out? And when an adult makes an impertinent response to what you may have planned for your future, that makes you question and rethink everything you wanted to do. Life is not a journey to get a job, reproduce, and then raise that child to do the same. It should be about living freely. Why is it so bad to go run through a field as fast as you can when according to others you should be working or raising a child? Children are allowed to run through fields carefree. Why can't we? We may be adults but that doesn't mean we don’t have the little kid in us anymore. We live our whole lives and grow up just to be successful adults. Why can't we grow up to live a life full of curiosity, freedom, and joy? I learned in class that curiosity is the most effective way to gain happiness in your life. So why do we all go through life to live up to social expectations, where a plan for our life is practically made as soon as we are born? Why don't we explore everything we are interested in? Is it because we think we’ll be judged for doing it? The most influential people were judged until they made something out of themselves. I think our generation is so focused on how others will think of us or react to what we do or say that people choose to hide and not explore. I want to explore but I am nervous that I will mess up or feel so lonely. I have to learn it's okay to feel lonely and it's okay to mess up. Try try again is what they always say. Although trying to get where you want to be to feel fully content with life is probably one of the most challenging things that some people don't get to experience. I want to experience the feeling of living. Experience different cultures. See new and curious animals. I want to explore so much of life but doing it and getting there is so so challenging. I do not know what I am doing to get there. I think about how I don't know what I'm doing every day.  But that's okay. Just living in the present will do for now until I figure it out. It's hard but it will be okay.